The new Fulham manager Claudio Ranieri has promised to reward his side with burgers if they can correct their defences errors, instead of his usual signature dish of pizza.
Ranieri, 67, famously rewarded the Leicester City side he took to a scarcely-believable Premier League title in the 2015-16 season to pizza as a treat in return for keeping clean sheets but he’s changing up his methods this time around.
"Pizza is not enough now," Ranieri said a press conference on Friday. "I have to promise something more. It's better everybody to McDonald's. I look always forward. I'm an ambitious man. I believe I have good players.”
The Italian might well need the help of Ronald and friends to whip his current bunch into shape; the Cottagers sit rock bottom of the league at this venture and hold its worst defensive record, having leaked a remarkable 31 goals in twelve games since returning to the top flight under the departed Slavisa Jokanovic.
There’s no lack of silk in a dressing room that was injected with £100m worth of talent this past summer by billionaire owner Shahid Khan, but it’s steel that he’ll look to extract from the group he has to work with.
"Now I have to choose players who show me fighting spirit. With quality, fighting spirit and unity, the players help each other,” he said.
With little time to hang around if survival is to be achieved, Ranieri has put the prospect of facing his two former sides, Chelsea and Southampton, on consecutive matchdays after their November 24 clash with another relegation-threatened side in Southampton.
"I think only of Southampton," he added. "In this moment it's important: don't think about other things. Southampton, Southampton. And then after Southampton, Chelsea."
The odds of Ranieri making lightning strike twice and bringing the Premier League to west London next season? Just the 5,000/1.