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Highest Paid For Lowest Contribution At Every Premier League Club: Here’s Who Is Milking Manchester United, City, Liverpool, Spurs, Arsenal, And Chelsea

Yeah, he's in there
Yeah, he's in there

Breaking news: Footballers get paid a lot.

It is of course entirely understandable that teams in the English top tier would want to keep some of their most valuable assets by rewarding them with the big bucks.

Sure, give Eden Hazard - a four-time recipient of inclusion in the PFA Team of the Year - that 200k a week. Shower Sergio Aguero and Mohamed Salah will oodles of bunce for their humungus goal tallies.

But what about those weasels and wastrels, and those who have had the most wretched luck but still enable to not just bring home the bacon, but procure an entire piggery on a weekly basis?

Chelsea captain Gary Cahill has been turned into an utter outcast by manager Maurizio Sarri, who arrived at the club in the off-season. The 33-year-old defender has been limited to a meagre 21 minutes of Premier League action in 2018/19, coming in just a single game (a 0-0 draw with West Ham back in September in case you are wondering). That means Cahill, earning £100k a week, has sensationally pocketed £123,810 for every minute he’s played. He won’t however be able to do it for much longer. The Englishman’s seven-year association with the west London outfit is expected to come to an end this summer once his contract expires.

Over at Manchester United, the misfiring miserable melancholic misanthropic misfit Alexis Sanchez offers no surprises by being the club’s top earner per minutes played.

The forward has collected £10,813 per minute, with his £350,000 a week earning and the 615 minutes he’s played so far in the Premier League.It’s not hard to imagine that with his brobdingnagian wages he would still have the highest pay-to-play ratio if he had played the full 90 in every fixture of the season.

However, this is two grand less than what Liverpool are paying the perpetually injured Daniel Sturridge. Sturridge has a cumulative total of 13 minutes (from three games) in 2019. He’s been resigned to the bench for the entirety of a match on 12 occasions, and only twice having the full 90 minutes on on-field action.

Pape Souare at Crystal Palace emerges as top dog and proverbial biscuit-taker. His solitary minute in the opening game of the season against Fulham has so far earned him a mind-boggling £630,000, based on his £30k a week salary.

In more positive news, Wolverhampton Wanderers who have already surpassed most expectations with a stirring return to the English top tier, also prove to be extremely business savvy. Their highest earner per minute played is Anderlecht-loanee Leander Dendoncker. From his seven appearances in the gold and black - six coming since their last game of 2018 -  the Belgian has earned £1,949 Per Minute (earns £37,923 a week, played 506 minutes in the Premier League) but is slowly but surely becoming an integral part of Nuno Espirito Santo’s set-up.

Take a look and find your club’s highest earner and/or milkman below.

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