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Manchester United Shock With Unveiling Of Incredibly Putrid New Football Kit

How would Man Utd manager Jose Mourinho react to this monstrosity?
How would Man Utd manager Jose Mourinho react to this monstrosity?

Just when you think you’ve seen everything there is to bemoan in football and you’re ready to spit out the phrase ‘Game’s Gone’ for the umpteenth time, commercial powerhouse and sometimes football club Manchester United go and outdo themselves.

The Red Devils – the most successful club in English football and one of the most globally recognisable sports teams in the world – have taken to social media to brag about a new allegiance with Adidas and EA Sports to produce a ghastly new jersey, modelled in the providing image by an AI of Utd Number 14 Jesse Lingard, with digital eyes that will  haunt your soul.

In what is described on the official website as a ‘bold, radical leopard print design’, images of Del Boy’s pyjamas in Only Fools and Horses is probably the first thought that springs to mind where one casts their eyes on the new bright green design, which you can have a glimpse at below.

The kit will not only be available to purchase on videogame FIFA 19 via digital download content, but you, dear sweet (naive?) consumer, will be able to buy a special limited edition physical edition in particular retail outlets, including the Old Trafford Megastore on the United premises, as well as adidas stores if you so choose.

The FIFA 19 United kit is part of a series of collaborations with some of Europe’s elite, with behemoths Juventus and Bayern Munich also featuring in the series and will be able to be unlocked by users for completing certain tasks on the game.

It may seem one of the tasks is to try and remove as much credibility from one of the most historically renowned and prestigious clubs as possible.

Fancy a game of hangman?

G _ me’s G_ne.

Eurgh.
Eurgh.
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