From the cardboard cutouts of the Queen across a special course around St James’ Park to the 45,000 virtual runners pounding the 26.2 miles (don’t forget the .2) in their back gardens, or local parks, this year’s London Marathon will go be remembered as the weirdest ever. Even down to the results in the men’s elite race. World record holder, Eliud Kipchoge, was beaten for the first time in seven years. It ended in a thrilling sprint finish by the Ethiopian Shura Kitata who won in 2:05.45, one second ahead of the Kenyan Vincent Kipchumba. But while everything seemed different yesterday, those who completed the course will be feeling no different today than hundreds of thousands of others who pounded the route in previous, Covid-free, years. Here’s how everything changes but everything stays the same...
Boredom Will Come To Visit
Today you will get bored, embrace it. Stick on a box set, you’ve earnt this. For the last however months you’ve had a focus, a drive, something to aim for. Towards the end it felt like the London Marathon was all that mattered. And now it’s gone. It’s done. And you miss it in your life. We get it. But seriously, chill out.
The Big Question - Why Did That First Beer Taste So Bad?
One question will loom larger than any other today - why did my post run pint not hit the spot? This is the perennial mystery of any marathon, one of the most intriguing questions of our time. Perhaps a cruel joke life just happens to like springing on us. But it’s a fact, your first, second and even third post marathon beer just don’t taste good. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
Stairs Have Become The Enemy
Right now there is an enemy that lies within. Confronting you in the sanctuary of your once safe home. They are your stairs. They are the silent killer. Up or down, it doesn’t matter, over the next few days you will grow to positively hate them. Fact.
You Really Are Smaller
You can stand tall after your magnificent achievement of completing the London Marathon, you just can’t stand as tall as you did before you started it. That’s because every runner will lose 1.25cm in height over the course of the event. This is all down to spine compression (ouch) but you will regain your full height over the next 24 hours or so, as the discs in your spine regain their fluid. It’s all about the fluids.
Remember Your Toenails Fondly
They will still be with you today, battered and bruised, but still there. Over the next few days, this will change. We promise you this. At least one of those blackened toenails will make its way to toenail heaven. RIP. It will grow back but, in a cruel twist of fate, only as a poor imitation of its previous self.