In a week where Pep Guardiola chastised the League Cup’s ball selection, and the quarter-final draw of said competition was delayed nearly two hours, let’s just be grateful that the Premier League is back.
This week, angry old-school pundits, snoozefest AGMs and commentator cock-ups feature. Here’s instalment 10 of Premier League Bingo…
At least one of Stoke, Liverpool or West Ham joining Crisis Club
Crisis Club is always keen for teams to complete their induction, with the criteria varying from a big club not winning two successive games, to a lesser club losing a succession of six-pointers. Stoke have almost agreed terms, and a loss away to Watford could confirm the deal. God forbid Liverpool show defensive weakness against Huddersfield, as they would also join, while West Ham simply need anything but a win v Crystal Palace as their baptism.
Aguero breaking Man City’s scoring record for the second time this week
After Primeira Liga glutton Wolverhampton Wanderers heroically held City over 120 minutes in the Carabao Cup, Sergio Aguero stepped up for the deciding kick of the penalty shootout. Needing one more goal to become the club’s all-time top scorer, he’d have to wait until Saturday’s visit to West Brom. However, the commentator got awfully confused, thinking this penalty would coronate him. Hopefully, the Argentine will genuinely complete the feat soon enough, so we can forget about this whole debacle.
Many 50+ pundits being infuriated at Claude Puel’s return
Puel was dismissed as Southampton boss last season after a benchmark campaign, finishing eighth and reaching the League Cup final. The Frenchman nicked the vacant Leicester manager job this week, leading Graeme Souness to say: “There’s nothing wrong with British coaches. We understand the game. They [foreign coaches] are not bringing anything new to the game.” Harsh words for Wenger, Mourinho, Pochettino, Conte and Guardiola to digest. Maybe Gary Rowett should’ve been given a shot.
Arsenal’s AGM being the only one we’ll hear about this season
Despite Liverpool’s defensive frailty being questioned once again last Sunday, Arsenal fans’ constant angst over the board and Arsene Wenger is the market leader in Originally Interesting But Now Boring football topics. Thursday was the club’s AGM – one in which a man called Sir Chips achieved the modern ‘Fifteen minutes of fame’ (trending on Twitter) – which should remind fans that it is only ever Arsenal’s that is reported on. And too right; there’s already enough initialisms in football to worry about.
Garth Crooks sleeping roughly when Burnley beat Newcastle
The former striker usually polarises BBC Sport readers with his playground-esque ‘Team of the Week’, in which he has a penchant for selecting that weekend’s goal scorers, building a makeshift formation out of them. Last week, he took his audacious punditry one step further. Following owner Mike Ashley putting Newcastle up for sale, Crooks exaggerated that “with the right resources” they could win the league with Rafa Benitez. Whatever the scope of that phrase means.
Accidentally catching all of Super Sunday’s pre-match coverage, forgetting the clocks went back
The clocks go back this Sunday morning at 2am, which is the good one if you like sleep but the bad one if you like daylight, as Greenwich Mean Time returns. This may lead to some oblivious middle-aged men – whose respite for the week is punctually rolling out of bed for a bacon sarnie, tea and the 1.30 kick-off – turning on Sky Sports, bemused at the sight of Goals on Sunday just drawing to a close.
