Premier League Bingo Gameweek 17: What Can We Expect In The Midweek Games?

Premier League Bingo Gameweek 17: What Can We Expect In The Midweek Games?
15:50, 12 Dec 2017

Only Manchester City, Manchester United, Burnley, Chelsea and Spurs have conceded less goals than Swansea this season.

But Swansea are really boring, so who cares? The anomaly in that list – Burnley – feature in this edition, as they face their inferior older brother. Enjoy…

Richard Keys’ face slowly transforming into Scrooge

Since being jettisoned as main Sky Sports anchor and assuming a similar role for beIN sports – which, he insists, hosts “The REAL Monday Night Football” – Richard Keys has ensued on a journey of bitterness which only looks like escalating. This week, his addiction to British managers was given a large dosage, as his column outlined in his well-honed, typically passive-aggressive manner: “Another British coach is making quite an impact at Everton eh?” Don’t be surprised if he starts turning a strong hue of green in the coming weeks.

Moyes playing 4-2-4 against Arsenal through sheer buoyancy

Another subject of adoration on Keys’ blog was David Moyes, who brilliantly organised his lowly West Ham side to overcome Chelsea on Saturday lunchtime. The Scotsman was absolutely elated at the final whistle, and it makes you wonder whether, because it’s his first taste of victory on a touchline in seven months, he’ll abandon all rational thinking and shove four up top to blitz Arsenal.

Discussing whether Stoke can do it on a cold, rainy night in Burnley

Prior to Mark Hughes’ tenure, Stoke established themselves as a robust, organised, long-ball Premier League side under Tony Pulis. Since then, the silver fox has maintained the team’s homeostasis through a transition to more poetic football. But that’s now coming at a price. They have conceded more goals than any other Premier League side and have relinquished their “cold, rainy night in” attributive adjective to Burnley, whose games this season have involved the joint least amount of goals.

Amazon chiefs spitting feathers that they weren’t allowed their cameras in the Old Trafford tunnel

The juggernaut in near enough anything to do with business – Amazon – are making a fly-on-the-wall documentary of Manchester City’s season, to be aired next autumn. They were, however, denied access to Old Trafford’s home changing room and tunnel area. In the aftermath of the Manchester derby, a fight broke out (in the tunnel) which culminated in City assistant manager Mikel Arteta bleeding and Jose Mourinho having milk thrown at him. He then cried to the media about decisions not going his way. *Something about weeping over a dairy product*.

Thierry Henry being relieved he doesn’t have to analyze Lukaku again

Honest punditry is often compromised by ties with former players and managers, therefore not wanting to put them in positions they wouldn’t have liked themselves. Henry found himself in an even worse predicament Sunday evening, when the Belgium assistant coach was continually asked by Martin Tyler about the performance of Belgian Romelu Lukaku, who had a shocker for United. Thierry’s interpretation of the English language negotiated his way around slating Lukaku at times, and he’ll be relieved that he has a few days’ break from being quizzed on the clunky forward.

Post-match interviewers running away from Jurgen Klopp

Because Premier League managers undergo a secret weekend-away crash course in cliché post-match interviews prior to scribbling their name above any dotted lines, we’re usually met with a limited collection of headlines from their final whistle mutterings. Hence why Klopp’s explosive chat with Patrick Davison after the Merseyside derby was Sky Sports’ most-viewed article on Sunday afternoon. The nutty German literally laughed in Davison’s face when the interviewer said he thought Everton deserved a penalty. More of the same please, national media man for Liverpool v WBA.

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