News of Chelsea’s interest in Peter Crouch went down a storm on social media, prompting plenty of suggestions for alternative transfer targets. Jan Koller, Nikola Zigic, John Carew and Lacina Traore were amongst the most popular, while Wycombe Wanderers’ Adebayo Akinfenwa felt moved to say that although he was flattered by the interest, he wouldn’t be moving to Stamford Bridge.
As predictable as all the jokes were, they acknowledged the strange and unexpected turn that Chelsea’s pursuit of a back-up striker has taken. Keen to loan out Michy Batshuayi, who he has never been truly convinced by anyway, Antonio Conte has set his sights on signing a towering nuisance to fill the void. An old-fashioned target man, all elbows and awkward clambering over centre-backs at the far post.
Conte has gone from Fernando Llorente, to Andy Carroll, and then Crouch – the quality of player steadily declining as each potential move reaches a dead end. It’s a peculiar fixation on height and heading ability. Although rarely associated with sophisticated and tactically astute managers, it’s not without precedent in recent years.
Even the best teams need a plan B. Llorente was often in reserve for Spain during their most successful period, and Guardiola’s decision to trade Samuel Eto’o for Zlatan Ibrahimovic at Barcelona was partly motivated by the need for an aerial threat when his side were struggling to pick their way through massed opposition defences.
If the Peter Crouch rumours are being treated with lighthearted mockery and disbelief by the football community at large, Tammy Abraham could be excused for taking the matter rather more seriously. On loan to struggling Swansea, he’s been forced to watch an increasingly farcical pursuit of a quick fix. Chelsea already had a viable back-up striker in Abraham, but weren’t prepared to trust him.
Mourinho is fully in Conte's head, he's lost the plot
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His style of play clearly differs to the big target men now being courted, but the point remains, what purpose is Chelsea's academy serving if it won't give its best graduates a chance? Once more, money is being thrown at a problem that didn’t really need fixing. Plenty of promising careers have stalled or been allowed to drift on this basis.
Dominic Solanke left last summer for just this reason, although his move to Liverpool hasn't panned out as expected so far. Ruben Loftus-Cheek and Lewis Baker, amongst others, might be inclined to feel similarly after the club shifted them out on loan to find space for another couple of expensive additions in centre midfield. Tiemoue Bakayoko and Daniel Drinkwater are good but not exceptional and have pushed players already at the club further down the pecking order.
Young players continue to be alienated by Chelsea's short-term thinking. Unfortunately, it’s the nature of the beast. There's no point in managers planning too far ahead, and blooding young players who will inevitably make mistakes, if their position is permanently on the line. The incentive to buy the finished article, over bothering to develop someone who could get there with a little time and patience, is simply too great.