''You Big, Stiff Idiot!'' The Wit And Wisdom Of Tyson Fury

The birthday boy is never short of a few choice words
09:00, 12 Aug 2023

He is the undefeated WBC heavyweight champion of the world, and on Saturday he turns 35 years of age, and while Tyson Fury is one of the greatest boxers of this or any era he is also a supreme orator.

‘The Gypsy King’ has had more memorable press conferences than most boxers have had fights, and he is never short of a quotable one-liner. The Sportsman has compiled some of the world champion’s finest quotes, proving once and for all that Fury’s words are as deadly as his fists.

“You have about as much charisma as my underpants – zero, none. You're a sports psychologist, you speak 37 different languages, so what? You're still a robotic person.”

Fury does not find Wladimir Klitschko remotely interesting. 

“I’m very good-looking and Deontay Wilder is not. That’s the difference between us.”

Tyson sees himself as the face of the heavyweight division, in more ways than one.

“David Haye is a p*ssy, don’t even mention him again. Next question.”

I feel like Fury might not want to talk about ‘The Hayemaker’.

“I'm doing a lot of things I didn't before. I'm eating five/six meals a day, drinking eight litres of water. I’m masturbating seven times a day, keep my testosterone pumping.”

Fury pulled back the curtain, perhaps a little too far, on his preparations for the second Deontay Wilder fight.

 “I have got confidence in my chin but I’ve been doing a lot of p*ssy licking to strengthen my jaw up.”

Who says you have to choose between being a lover and a fighter?

“You can't go swimming and not get wet. And I got wet. I got drenched actually.”

Fury on getting knocked down twice in the first Deontay Wilder fight. Good job he brought his snorkel for the third fight.

“See you, you plumber from Liverpool, it's personal between you and me and I'm going to do you some serious harm you big, stiff idiot.”

Sadly we never saw Fury take on his old amateur foe David Price in the pros, but if this quote is any indication then it would have been a tasty match-up. 


“I used to be a fat pig. Well, I still am. But basically I only turned professional five fights ago, because before that I was out drinking, out with women of the night to all hours. Then I’d come in the next day and fight 12 rounds or knock someone out.”

Tyson outlines his unusual routine in the build-up to winning his first world title against Wladimir Klitschko.

“I hope him and his trainer believe in magic, because he's going to need a lot of magic to beat Tyson Fury.”

Fury warning Steve Cunningham he should have accepted that Hogwarts scholarship.

“Ich Bin Tyson Fury, der Sexymeister from Great Britain.”

‘The Gypsy King’ making friends and influencing people on his first trip to Germany.

"I'm not even scared of the devil. If the devil confronted me, I'd confront him as well."

Classic Fury.

“I don’t have a hometown, ‘cos I’m a traveller. I travel around the world, I pull my trailer up beside someone’s garden, make a mess, and then leave – that’s why I’m the Gypsy King!”

Fury during the announcement press conference for his fight with Klitschko.

“He’s a nobody. I thought he looked like a pumped-up weightlifter fighting an American who had about as much fight in him as this glass of water. All those Americans are bums, they can’t fight.”

That very same press conference. When Fury's on one, he doesn't stop.

“Mental health has got to be the biggest battle I’ve ever fought, more so than any opponent.”

Aside from all the tomfoolery, Fury is a big advocate of mental health. This was taken from his autobiography 'Behind The Mask'.

"I am fighting royalty. I have gypsy kings on both sides of the family."

You have to admire his arrogance sometimes.

"There's never been someone like me in history - a fighter like me only comes along every 1,000 years."

Yep, he does it a lot.

"I do like going to the movies, but I like eating tons of sweets and ice cream, so I can't go to the movies anymore."

No more Tango Ice Blasts for 'The Gypsy King'. And he may regret opting to miss out on the cinematic event of the year, Barbenheimer.

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