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Oasis, Gemma Collins, and Trump: Just Some Of The Things More Likely Than Manchester United Winning The Champions League

Respect, man. Respect.
Respect, man. Respect.

The Champions League has provided something like solace to Manchester United fans this season and the Red Devils are in a strong position to secure passage through to the next round of the competition.

A win against the Swiss champions Young Boys tonight would put Jose Mourinho’s side through and give what might feel like a pump of air into the lungs of a deflated fanbase but, on further inspection, it might be turn out to be more misery that awaits under the Portuguese for them.

The three-time winners of the competition are currently priced up at as large a price as 40/1 to land the continental gong once more, which bears comparing to a few potential punts outside the sporting sphere for any Reds getting ideas above their current station.

It’s almost twice as big, according to the bookmakers' odds, as the chances of local legends Oasis overcoming their decade-long brotherly rivalry, reforming, tuning up again and getting all their old tunes back sounding as good as always, and headlining Glastonbury next June.

It’s difficult to size up which one of them would cause quite as much madness in the home of both of those cultural institutions, but the books mark the latter up as far more likely at the 25/1 marker (with Sky Bet).

Skating off the pitch and onto the ice, United bringing ‘old big ears’ back to M16 is less likely than TOWIE sensation Gemma Collins winning Dancing on Ice in 2019, according to William Hill, who price her up at 33/1.

Considering she baulked at the sight of the jungle almost immediately during her ill-fated I’m a Celebrity appearance, it’s hard to see her putting in the graft to become the next Michelle Kwan over the space of a few weeks.

With the calendar coming up towards Christmas, it’s worth pulling out a festive punt that is considered more likely by layers than Mourinho conquering Europe once more.

Baby Shark, that mind-numbing children’s song that suffocated the globe not so long ago, is 33/1 to give Pinkfong an unlikely U.K number one this year.

Across the pond for another point of comparison and Ivanka Trump, daughter of POTUS Donald, is a shorter price to take over the presidency from her father before 2024 than the 20-time champions of England are to take over Europe this year. (33/1 with Hills)

Speaking of Europe, you’re more likely to see Finland leave the E.U next than you are to see Manchester United win the Champions League next - that’s the same price as Ivanka taking over the big seat from the old man.

So, there you have it: 'Finexit', the Gallagher brothers rocking out at Glasto, and a song about baby sharks being Christmas number one are among the things more likely than Manchester United winning the Champions League this season.

Just something to keep in mind for those of you who might have a buoyant red to deal with later this evening.

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