If Manchester City had given every side a two-goal head start, they would be 3rd.
Shame it’s too late to stick that in your Christmas cracker. Anyhow, that and more in this edition of Premier League Bingo…
A goal for a bottom half team being described as a “late Christmas gift”
Kudos to all the media who spend their last bank holiday of the year earning their bucks; Christmas’ sequel is a time when most would rather be picking at the cold turkey. But now for a nag. Could we get through one year where a goal for relegation candidates on Boxing Day isn’t referred to as “a late Christmas gift,” delivered with a crescendo from the larynx of Jonathan Pearce?
Sorting present exchanging before Boxing Day 12.30pm
For a lucky segment of the public, Christmas day is twofold – one side of the family on the 25th, the other on the 26th. So for all those Premier League junkies who have another round of present-opening on Boxing Day, be sure to keep one eye on your new Lynx set from Aunt Linda and Uncle Dave, and another on the time – Tottenham v Southampton kicks-off at 12.30pm, and what says Christmas like watching an underperforming home side against the dullest team in the division?
Being reminded of Division One results from Boxing Day 1963
The cultured Sky Sports anchor Dave Jones must even be bored of pulling up this graphic himself. We all know that, with Boxing Day being in the middle of a fixture-fest where players are tired and fans more relaxed, you can get some strange results following Santa’s big night. The zenith of which was reached in 1963, when there were 66 goals across 10 games in the league. Worth a mention, but let’s at least chuck a new graphic layout on it.
Sky Sports informing us of every Premier League player’s Christmas message on social media
As aforementioned, not everyone is keen to work during Christmas, and so standards are sometimes lowered. Take 24-hour sports news channel Sky Sports, who have the hard task of plugging news for – you guessed it – 24 hours. Given that no British sport worth reporting about is played on Christmas Day, the ‘social media desk’ must pick up the pieces to fill a few minutes. This usually involves finding out what Christmas wish Dean Whitehead has sent his 23.4k Twitter followers.
The FA ordering Manchester City to give teams a two-goal head start to even things up for the second half of the season
The most saddening thing about Manchester United’s draw against Leicester is that it didn’t hold the same disappointment as any other season, because City are such runaway favourites for the league. They’re so good, they’re bringing the game into disrepute – so let’s even it up by giving every opponent a two-goal head start. Even then, City would only be third with 36 points.
Some inevitable moaning about the festive fixture list being used as reasoning for losing
Four games in ten days is a lot to ask for. But without it, you’d purely have to spend time with family over Christmas and New Year’s – and who wants to do that? Your serial moaners – Mark Hughes, Jose Mourinho, Jurgen Klopp – are most likely to specialise in this department, but given they’ve experienced over 15 years of Premier League management between them, you can always hold out for a Christmas miracle.
