The Sportsman's Premier League Predictions 2023/24: KDB And Havertz To Flop?

The Sportsman team have taken a stab at predicting the upcoming season
07:00, 10 Aug 2023

The Premier League is back this weekend! To celebrate the return of the biggest football league on the planet, The Sportsman team have come up with some intriguing predictions for the season, from title winners to flops, here’s how we think the season will pan out.

Title Winners:

Sam Penfold: Manchester United 

Erik ten Hag has had a season at Old Trafford, he's spent a small fortune and has strengthened in key areas. City will be as good as ever but this year, Manchester is turning Red once again. 

Joey Mills: Manchester City

It’s hard to see past the seemingly perennial champions. Arsenal have equipped themselves well and Chelsea might benefit from a lack of European football. But the Citizens are a picture of consistency.

Conor Keane: Manchester City

While Arsenal have strengthened significantly to push Manchester City even harder in the Premier League this season, Pep Guardiola and his team have the formula to keep on winning this league. They could be underwhelming for a huge chunk of the season and then they can put together an incredible run like they did last term to reclaim the title. 

Simon Lillicrap: Arsenal

I just don’t think Man City will win the Premier League title this season, after their treble win. Picking an actual winner is difficult given Liverpool, Man Utd and Chelsea have all strengthened, but I’ll plump for Mikel Arteta’s side after a strong summer to go all the way. 

Top Four: 

SP: Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool & Arsenal. 

The champions drop down to second, a revitalised Liverpool climb back into the Champions League places inspired by Trent Alexander-Arnold, Luis Diaz and Diogo Jota. Arsenal, despite a heavy summer window, resort back to form and end in fourth. 

JM: Manchester City, Arsenal, Manchester United, Chelsea

Arsenal have made all the right transfer moves while Erik ten Hag is building something tangible at Old Trafford. Chelsea are my pick to pip Liverpool to fourth as Jurgen Klopp toils away at a mammoth rebuild. 

CK: Manchester City, Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United

Mikel Arteta’s Arsenal are going to be the side that pushes City the hardest again this year and second seems nailed on for them again this year. Liverpool are going through a rebuild in midfield this summer having lost Jordan Henderson and Fabinho. Alexis Mac Allister and Dominik Szoboszlai have come in and the likes of Darwin Nunez and Cody Gakpo will have bigger roles to play this year. As will Luis Diaz, who missed much of the last season through injury. They still need a couple more bodies through the door, though. Manchester United will take another stride in their rebuild under Erik ten Hag and they might collect another domestic trophy.

SL: Arsenal, Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool

Man City may not win the league but they are still more than capable of a top four finish. However, I’m backing Manchester United to pip them to second spot as Erik ten Hag’s progression continues at Old Trafford. A resurgent Liverpool will just have enough to get past Chelsea for fourth spot. 

Will Klopp secure a top four finish?
Will Klopp secure a top four finish?


SP: Everton, Luton Town, Sheffield United. 

The Toffees have been knocking on the door of the Championship and this year they'll be let in. It's not going to be fun for Sean Dyche n co. Let's not beat around the bush - Luton Town and Sheffield United simply aren't good enough for the Premier League. 

JM: Everton, Sheffield United, Luton Town

Everton’s battle with the trap door will finally do them in. It’s been a long time coming. The Blades are on the verge of selling their best player to Burnley, who will do enough to stay up. Luton and their barely-mentioned tiny stadium look certs for the drop.

CK: Everton, Wolverhampton Wanderers, Sheffield United

There has been no significant change to suggest Everton will be pushing higher up the table in 2023-24 and they might not have it in them to pull off another great escape. There’s been a fire sale at Wolverhampton Wanderers this summer and despite raising millions of pounds, the club are still unable to spend to comply with Financial Fair Play. Julen Lopetegui looks to be off and that should be that. Sheffield United look to be the new Norwich City in bouncing between the top flight and the Championship.

SL: Luton Town, Wolves, Sheffield United.

Luton will come closest to staying up but ultimately be defeated by Sean Dyche and Everton. That man could be handed 11 statues and he still wouldn’t get relegated. Nathan Jones’ side pick up several points at home but struggle on the road, while Wolves look a mess before the season has even started. They are heading down along with a miserable Sheffield United outfit. 

Shock of the season

SP: Erling Haaland scores less than 30 goals in the league. 

He’s good, but he’s not that good. Injury will strike him down and he’ll have to settle for a more reasonable goal tally this time around. 

JM: Nobody employs ‘Big Sam’

The genie is out of the bottle. After failing to keep Leeds United up last season, the Allardyce option will not be exercised by any Premier League chairmen this term. He’ll probably get the Watford job instead.

Is Big Sam going to be left out in the cold?
Is Big Sam going to be left out in the cold?

CK: Luton Town to stay up

Everyone is betting against them, just like they did in non-league and throughout their rise back to the big time. Their hard-working spirit will trump talent on a few occasions at everyone’s new favourite ground, Kenilworth Road. Rob Edwards is proving his worth as a top coach and the club are in a much more stable position on and off the pitch than some of the clubs who have been in the Premier League for years.

SL: Sheffield United to break Derby’s record-low points tally

liman Ndiaye has left. Sander Berge’s on his way. Tommy Doyle and James McAtee aren’t returning. Even club legend Billy Sharp has gone. This Sheffield United side is far worse than the one that finished second in the Championship and I’m certain they are heading back down as the whipping boys of the league. Derby’s 11-point record-low total is at risk. 

Flop of the season:

SP: Kai Havertz 

His big money move to Arsenal won't help his wretched form in-front of goal and he'll soon be found out. 

JM: Rasmus Hojlund

Not a flop per se, but the uneducated comparisons to Erling Haaland will harm a player who scored 9 in 32 Serie A games for Atalanta. He’ll get there, just not this season, as the 20-year-old finds his Premier League bearings.

CK: Kai Havertz

When you move in a transfer window for £65 million, there is going to be an expectation on your shoulders. Kai Havertz won’t live up to the expectation because he can supposedly play in a variety of positions but he hasn’t particularly excelled in any of them. It is hard to picture where on the pitch he would upgrade Arsenal’s side.

SL: Kevin De Bruyne 

Woahhh. Yeah I said it. In a comparatively poor Man City season, De Bruyne is not going to hit the heady heights of previous years. He’s now 32, didn’t contribute in the UCL final due to injury and City will learn to cope without him for the majority of the season. He’ll get two excellent assists against Arsenal on MNF, but overall be disappointing across the season. 

Is KDB finished?
Is KDB finished?

Banker of the season: 

SP: Triple threat...

Have three. Liverpool fans to cry in January over a lack of transfer activity, Arsenal to think they're winning the league until April & Spurs to steal a European spot on the last day of the season. 

JM: Frank Lampard to be hired

No, but seriously. Misty-eyed kingmakers can’t look past the immense presence of Lampard the player to see he isn’t all that as a coach. One of the relegation-threatened clubs will justify it by saying he kept Everton up two seasons ago. Then they’ll get relegated.

CK: Jason Tindall to become an even bigger meme

Newcastle United assistant head coach Jason Tindall certainly became self-aware of his antics at the club last year. It was clearly obvious that the former AFC Bournemouth boss didn’t like to be on the sidelines so where it became possible, he would make himself the centre of attention. Expect this to continue in 2023-24. It’ll do numbers for the club’s social media platforms. Oh, and we can’t wait for his documentary that is out on Prime Video in a few days.

SL: Peter Drury to grate by Christmas

Martin Tyler’s retirement is great news for Sky Sports, but the complaints about his replacement will come thick and fast. Yes we know Drury is a poet on the microphone, but listening to him recite Shakespeare every single weekend will soon become tiresome. Now how many puns about Nottingham Forest can he make in one match? 

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