Pat Jennings scores from his own penalty area, 1967
Effectively the Year Zero of all televised Charity Shield curiosities, and the obligatory place to start this top ten.
Back in YouTube-less 1967, few would have had the pleasure of watching a goalkeeper add a precious (1) to their future Wikipedia page. Tottenham’s Pat Jennings - whose dinner-plate sized hands for once weren’t necessary to his craft - obliged after just eight minutes.
The footage is actually quite unremarkable, but it’s the peripheral stuff that makes up for it. The crowd react with the sort of muted hubbub that normally greets a horrific injury. Commentator Kenneth Wolstenholme, a man who by 1967 had witnessed everything he surely needed to in football, was was reduced to bare syllables.
“Ooh!...yes...it’s…a fantastic effort...Jennings has scored...for...Tottenham!”
The Guardian’s Eric Todd summed up the novelty of the situation. “[Manchester United goalkeeper Alex] Stepney was not the only one who looked at the referee as if seeking confirmation that such devilish practice were legal. It was.”
The next meeting of the mythical Goalkeeper’s Union will have been a tense one.
Kevin Keegan undresses at Wembley, 1974
The first proper example of curtain-raiser hostilities, and quite possibly the genesis of the curious phenomenon of red-carded players removing/untucking at least one item of clothing as they leave the pitch.
During an already eminently ding-dong battle at Wembley, Kevin Keegan - the absolute epitome of persistence - was busy chasing down Leeds’ short passing like an angry schoolkid whose bag had just been nicked. A little nibble at the heels of Johnny Giles resulted in a semi-instinctive right hook, the sheer torque of which sent Keegan to the floor.
A booking for Giles (a booking!) was deemed sufficient, and the game continued - for a few moments, at least, until Keegan and Billy Bremner (the latter having been clattered by the former just before the first flashpoint) gave the referee another headache.
Off went both - the first players to be dismissed at Wembley in a domestic fixture - with Keegan leading the way by ripping off his red shirt to reveal 1) his utter fury and 2) a physique that had no place in the 1970s. Bremner, for some reason, followed suit.
Bruce Grobbelaar rifles one into the corner...for Everton, 1984
Goalkeeping own goals tend to range from the unfortunate (inadvertently deflecting a low cross into the net) to the ruthlessly-exposing slapstick (literally throwing the ball into the goal) but this had a clinical quality to it that you don’t often see.
Liverpool and Everton would share some memorably eventful encounters throughout the 80s - when both were at the peak of their respective historical powers - but this one would be decided by just a single goal.
Just before the hour, Graeme Sharp bundles his way to goal, past Grobbelaar, thundered a shot against Alan Hansen, the ball pinged back to the shins of the Liverpool keeper...and neatly into the bottom corner. An appropriately pre-season way to wrap up things up before the real action got started.
Eric Cantona’s stock rises, 1992
There are a couple of things about Eric Cantona’s Charity Shield display in 1992 that, in retrospect, feel a bit quaint. First, Martin Tyler’s “Conto-na” pronunciation, which only feeds the dramatic irony, watching it 25 years later, that nobody quite knew what a deity the Frenchman would become.
Secondly, Leeds manager Howard Wilkinson’s appraisal - “He's got exceptional potential but he's got to keep hard at it” - which seems like it should have been said about anyone but Eric Cantona.
Peter Schmeichel vs David Seaman, 1993
Even in the Charity Shield, the annual test of players trying as hard as they can not too look too bothered by winning or losing, a penalty shootout brings with it a minimum level of drama and personal disappointment.
On a colourful, sun-drenched day in 1993 - a spectacle that befitted the new Premier League era - the curtain-raiser would be decided by penalties. Arsenal manager George Graham blindly assumed the tradition of sharing the Shield in the event of a draw was still the case, and let his players decide their five takers against Manchester United.
Denis Irwin and Ian Wright provided an unexpected failure from the spot for either side, Bryan Robson steered home United’s fifth penalty, and now Arsenal needed to score. Tony Adams, Martin Keown, Andy Linighan, Paul Davis or Eddie McGoldrick were the unglamorous options available...but David Seaman stepped up instead.
The one-step run-up, the helpless look to the referee - nothing about this looked promising for Seaman. He then proceeded to break the golden rule of goalkeeper penalties - JUST BELT IT - and sidefooted one to the right that Schmeichel could feasibly have blown to safety if he wanted.
“Beckam”, 1997
The penultimate weekend before the season properly starts is the last opportunity for fine-tuning for players, managers…and kit-men. Wonder what this shirt would fetch on eBay right now.
David Beckham’s right foot, 1999
It became easy to be desensitised to just how emphatic David Beckham’s set-piece technique was. To this day, nobody takes a free-kick or a corner with quite so much angular commitment.
This vintage 1999 example of Beckham whippage belongs in a more illustrious setting that the dusty corner of Charity Shield history, and deserved better than to have been wrongly adjudged to have bounced the wrong side of the goalline before Dwight Yorke nodded home the rebound beyond the flapping Alex Manninger.
Roy Keane gets into the Charity spirit, 2000
The list of things anyone wants stabbed into their calf is likely to be very short, and the studs of a turn-of-the-century, psycho-buzzcut Roy Keane are definitely not on that list.
Shevchenko’s sign of things not to come, 2006
Shiny new signings in shiny new kits, hitting the ground running in the comfortable confines of a “glorified friendly” in a showpiece stadium in front of football-hungry fans: that more or less sums up the hopes and dreams of the Community (née Charity) Shield.
After two relentlessly controlled title wins, Chelsea pushed Abramovich’s boats out in the summer of 2006. In came the distinctly elite pair of Michael Ballack and Andrei Shevchenko to turn Jose Mourinho’s domestic dominators into a European force. The £30m Ukrainian was nudging 30, but the Premier League remained star-struck, and he announced himself with the sort of unerring, authoritative finish that Chelsea wanted for their money.
That was, more or less, as good as it got. Cherish the innocent, untainted weekend of the Community Shield, people - it’s only downhill from there.
Chicharito: unorthodox but effective, 2010
A reminder that this is what West Ham have brought back to the Premier League for a mere £16m: a striker who will happily score with his face if he has to. Welcome back, Javier Hernandez, your nickname is terrible.
