10) The Hurricanes
Does this count? Yes. Yes, it does. For those unfamiliar with the Hurricanes, they were an animated football team, crammed full of stereotypes, managed by a Scotsman-by-numbers called Jock Stone, and who played in a massive boot-shaped stadium.
We’re the Hurricanes, our champion spirit is here to stay
We’re the Hurricanes, storm time is coming to you today
The fact that most people only remember the Def Leppard-lite theme tune is either a) thanks to its profound lyrics about sports psychology or b) an indictment on the episodes’ scriptwriters.
9) Sportsnight
A grand BBC affair - more like some scene-setting music from a Roger Moore-era Bond film than a sports theme - which serves now only to remind us that the BBC once did own the rights to sport people actually wanted to watch.
8) Sky Sports Super Sunday, 1992-97
“Heeeeeeere weeee gooooooo, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go, this is it!”
What better to prepare you for Richard Keys’ early-90s rainbow roulette of suit jackets than the cautionary lyrics to Super Sunday’s first theme tune? Sure, the budget would be increased as the Premier League took off, and the likes of Ronan Keating, Moloko and Fatboy Slim would take over, but Sky’s decidedly in-house production has a nostalgic echo that cannot be matched. Who sings it these days? Who cares?
7) ITV’s Euro ‘92 titles
The dignified horn section of classic football theme tunes gave way to sexy saxophones in the early 1990s - no more so than with ITV’s Euro ‘92 titles, soundtracked by Union’s “You Are the Number 1”
Some excellently vague lyrics - “You are the number one, you are the best so just believe it” - were delivered earnestly by Paul Young (of Mike and the Mechanics semi-fame) and constituted the entirely inappropriate musical backdrop to one of England’s most dismal major tournament showings of all time.
6) Sky Sports Scottish Football, 1998-2002
Its musical pedigree was undeniable: cool enough to be used in a Levi’s advert and then number one for a week, back in a time when that meant something. Obviously then, the next logical step for one-hit wonder Stiltskin’s post-grunge anthem “Inside” was the Scottish Premier League.
Incidentally, in case you thought Stiltskin sank without trace, it emerges that they are responsible for the old official Premier League song. Or, as you might know it, the soundtrack to all your illegal livestreaming in the late 2000s:
5) Sports Report
Yes, that’s Kriss Akabusi dancing with Barry Davies. Anyway, will this venerable tune ever die? Hubert Bath’s “Out of the Blue” has remained a staple of Saturday teatimes that modern football apparently cannot touch.
So much so that when, in 2013, it was accidentally left unplayed on FA Cup third-round day in 2013, there was a brief nationwide panic.
4) Saint & Greavsie
Recycled from ITV’s World Cup titles, where it matched Mexico 86’s shimmering beauty perfectly, the glorious “Aztec Gold” was made a permanent fixture on their bread-and-butter football output. For younger readers, Saint & Greavsie was a bit like Fletch and Sav, only good.
3) BBC Goal of the Month 1992-1995
Save perhaps for Rick Wakeman’s ominous synths in 1987/88, no Goal of the Season lineup has been so perfectly soundtracked as those in the early years of the Premier League. The instrumental version of the Lightning Seeds’ “Life of Riley” happily faded in and out of screamers from the likes of Peter Ndlovu, Rod Wallace and notably Matt Le Tissier, who might as well have it played at his funeral.
Without Ian Broudie’s vocals, the music still somehow fit perfectly to Gerald Sinstadt’s redubbed, pretend-live commentary over the top of each goal, in which he could never quite seem to disguise the fact that a wondergoal was about to be scored.
2) Match of the Day
Completism means we have to include a clip of the theme tune to Match of the Day above but - seriously, now - who needs a refresher course on the Match of the Day theme tune?
The BBC’s flagship football programme took six years to settle on what would become the most recognisable piece of music on British television. Its composer Barry Stoller “felt like I had just been asked to find the Holy Grail” when he was tasked with coming up with a new song for Match of the Day, with the simple brief from its editor extending to “something good”. Job done.
It will - quite rightly - never be changed. In fact, they tried mixing it up once, back in 1990, and...well:
1) Gazzetta Football Italia
Musically, something of a glorious mess, which reflects how it was put together. Creator Steve Duberry - songwriter to such pop luminaries as Tina Turner, Cliff Richard and Liberty X - took the nuts and bolts of his band Definitive Two’s track “I’m Stronger Now” and added some earnest Italian phrases over the top.
“Campionato...Di Calcio...Italiano!” it growled, confirming 10am on a Saturday morning to be the most sophisticated moment of the entire week, every week.
It’s famous climax has been open to much debate over the last 20 years, with the confusion stemming from the fact that the owner of the exclamation, Jose Altafini, is a Brazilian commentator for Italian football who often throws in Spanish phrases. In any case - “Goalazzo”, “Golaccio” or (the conspiracy theorists’ choice) “Gooooooo Lazio!” - its a superb end to a modern classic.
