10) Romario strikes in vain, 1997
A cult classic, as far as tournaments go, Le Tournoi served three primary functions: 1) allowing England some senior silverware for once, 2) denying them some silverware, in fact, because the trophy was a ceramic 1970s ball on a marble slab and 3) testing the French infrastructure for the 1998 World Cup.
Other fond memories include a terrifying but entirely fair Stuart Pearce tackle on Roberto Di Matteo, Italy and Brazil’s pulsating 3-3 draw and, obviously, Roberto Carlos’ absurd, one-in-a-million free kick in Lyon.
Anyway, while the other three nations were taking points off each other, England were going about their business with a quiet efficiency never seen since. By the time they met Brazil in Paris, the trophy was already theirs, but Romario wasn’t the sort to be distracted from his personal goals.
Ronaldo and Leonardo combined to slip in the no.11, and his prolific toe did the rest.
9) Beardsley steps on the gas, 1987
Another minor, semi-forgotten tournament. The Rous Cup was designed as an excuse for Scotland and England to do battle at least once a year, with an exotic third wheel invited along each year. Brazil rocked up in 1987 and promptly won the whole thing, but not before being introduced to Stuart Pearce on his international debut at Wembley - Josimar’s pre-emptive studs barely registering on Pearce’s pain threshold here...
Anyway, England briefly took the lead thanks to a diving Gary Lineker header - generously described as “Houchen-like” by ITV’s Brian Moore - which owed much to a startling piece of acceleration by his favoured strike partner Peter Beardsley.
Wembley loved it, but the advantage lasted about a minute - Newcastle’s Mirandinha hammered home from close range to level things up.
8) Michael Owen’s futsal flourish, 2000
“England 1 Brazil 0 - doesn’t that sound nice?!” roared Clive Tyldesley in a pre-Euro 2000 tester for England against Brazil at Wembley.
Clive’s morale had been boosted by some exceptionally tidy piece of penalty-area footwork from Michael Owen, who rolled the ball with his studs away from three Brazilian defenders to give himself the room to fire under Dida from eight yards.
7) One for the Wayne Rooney scrapbook, 2013
It’s been so long since England last played Brazil that the last goal registered against them was the result of a storming Wayne Rooney run towards goal and a swerving effort into the top corner. His powers may have faded almost completely since then, but a goal at the Maracana is a precious moment for any goalscorer’s collection.
The game had already been graced by a lovely volley from Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain before Rooney put England ahead with his 36th international goal. Let’s just gloss over the terrible orange ball and the slight deflection, shall we?
6) Brazil enjoy some R&R at England’s expense, 2002
Shizuoka in 2002 represents one of England’s biggest missed opportunities in a World Cup since 1966. Michael Owen’s dinked opener had given them the lead against Brazil, only for Ronaldinho to suddenly locate the scruff of the game’s neck.
His barrelling dribble through the heart of England’s midfield was arguably more impressive than his opportunist exploitation of David Seaman later on. Rivaldo’s finish was, as always, decisive.
Having been outclassed twice in the space of five minutes either side of half time, England - with David Beckham battling gamely on with his half-healed metatarsal - couldn’t find a way through the ten men of Brazil once Ronaldinho had been sent off.
5) Gary Lineker and the Pitiful Panenka, 1992
It was, perhaps, the harbinger of doom for England’s miserable summer of 1992. A few weeks later, they were being dumped out of Euro ‘92 and Gary Lineker was making the most undignified of international exits, hauled off for Alan Smith in a defeat to Sweden.
It could have been so different. After 10 minutes at a sunny Wembley, Lineker earned a soft-looking penalty, as he searched for the goal that would bring him level with Bobby Charlton as England’s all-time top goalscorer.
To mark the occasion - rather than his trademark laces down the middle or ultra-confident sidefoot into the top corner - Lineker went for this...
Still, he was bound to make up for it at the Euros. Surely.
4) Le Saux, So Good, 1995
The Umbro Cup: very much the thinking man’s Le Tournoi. Sweden and Japan both brought something to the party - England’s 3-3 draw against the Swedes at Elland Road a particular highlight - but the final fixture was what everyone had been waiting for. David Batty v Dunga, Colin Cooper v Edmundo, Tim Flowers v Juninho.
If there was any lingering doubt that the Umbro Cup was being taken seriously, Roberto Carlos going through the back of Teddy Sheringham eliminated it.
England, in their massive collars, made it interesting by drawing first blood.
A Stuart Pearce free kick was cleared only as far as Graeme Le Saux, who had been instructed by Terry Venables to station himself on the edge of the box for precisely such an eventuality. Le Saux teed himself up with his chest and then, seemingly without a moment’s thought, swung his left boot at the ball. It flew into the top corner, beyond the outstretched glove of Zetti, who was wearing one of the worst goalkeeping get-ups ever seen.
In what was becoming a running theme, though, Brazil hit back with ease. Juninho swung a tidy free kick over the wall to equalise, an 18-year-old Ronaldo scored just his second international goal and then Edmundo finished the job.
3) Garrincha gold, 1962
England would lift the Jules Rimet trophy four years later but, in 1962, they set the template for the modern England World Cup Experience: struggling through the group stages and then succumbing to the first decent side they ran into after that.
Even before they had to try and contain Didi, Garrincha and Vava, they had to deal with the unexpected threat of a pitch-invading dog. Jimmy Greaves finally took care of business, but not before the dog had taken care of business all over his nice white shirt.
Anyway, the legendary Garrincha gave Ray Wilson a relentless examination in the quarter-final. Brazil won 3-1, and the great man rounded things off with a beauty from 25 yards.
2) Barnes does it for Bobby, 1984
“You’ve just lost 2-0 to Russia,” the BBC’s Jimmy Hill pointed out to Bobby Robson. “What are you going to Brazil for? You’re going to get a hiding. Can’t you persuade the FA to pull out?”
Missing out on the Euro ‘84 party, England travelled instead to South America with a threadbare squad and a manager under serious pressure. Their first test was Brazil at the Maracana. Right on half time, John Barnes brought the ball under his spell wide on the left. Mark Hateley had laid the ball off, and was surging into the area in expectation for the cross. It never came.
“When you score a goal by dribbling, from my point of view you don’t remember it, because it is instinctive,” Barnes later recalled. “It was like I was having an out-of-body experience.”
Hateley added a second, and England secured what remains their only win against Brazil on their turf. The football had done the talking for Robson, even if he’d already found the words himself.
“If we don’t go,” Robson had replied to Hill, “we’ll never know what might have happened.”
1) Moore, Banks & Jairzinho, 1970
Widely accepted as a cast-iron World Cup classic, the group-stage meeting of the world champions with Pele’s Brazil had been eagerly anticipated for months previously. “A better team, England, and better creative artists, Brazil,” decided The Times, while the Daily Express went simply with “Magic vs Method”.
Brazil won 1-0, the record books say, but this was so much more than a scoreline. England’s vaunted defence, as in 1966, was led by the imperious Bobby Moore, who timed two tackles to such absolute perfection that they should be endlessly looped on a screen in a gallery somewhere.
Then there was Gordon Banks. To put it into some perspective, it really does take something for a save by a goalkeeper - whose team would still go on to lose 1-0 - to overshadow the decisive goal itself.
“I heard Pele shout 'goal' as he headed it,” remembers Banks, “which was followed by a massive, almost deafening, roar.”
“Even though I'd got a hand to it, I thought he must have scored. Then I realised the crowd were cheering for me.”
The moments have been played endlessly, perhaps at the expense of the match as a whole which, the goalscorer Jairzinho later said, remains “like a lesson.” The highlights, at least, are worth a few minutes of anyone’s time.
England could have forced a rematch in the final, but were sunk by West Germany in the quarter-finals. Brazil sauntered on into footballing immortality, one of those teams that deserves to be referred to exclusively with the year next to it as a hallmark of quality, like a vintage champagne.
