A Player, A Glider And Morgan Freeman's Teeth - We Rate Rugby Movie Trailers

Something to whet your appetite ahead of this weekend's quarter-finals
07:00, 18 Oct 2019

The Rugby World Cup really begins to take off this weekend as the four quarter-finals take place in Japan, starting with England versus Australia on Saturday morning.

Can't wait until then and in need of a quick rugby fix? We have just the answer... why not treat yourself to some of the sport's greatest appearances on the big screen?

Long, arduous and often more complicated than the rules themselves, it’s highly unlikely you’ll ever watch an entire rugby movie and stay awake. Which is why we’ve swerved the lot of them and headed straight to the trailers….

 

Alive (1993)

Running Time: 4:24

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Josh Hamilton

The Trailer: On October 13, 1972, Flight 751 slams into the Andes, stranding the Uruguayan rugby team in the Purcell Mountains. When they are finally rescued twelve days later, half the team are missing while the other half look shifty and give off potent meat burps.  

Best Quote: “Should we be flying this close to the mountain?” - Plane hits mountain. 

Most random moment: The first minute of the trailer is John Malkovich doing his very best Marlon Brando ‘Apocalypse Now’ impression with these actual words: “To be affronted by solitude without decadence, or a single material thing to prostitute, it elevates you to a spiritual plane, where I felt the presence of God.”

Invictus (2009)

Running Time: 2:30

Starring: Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon

The Trailer: Clint Eastwood directs this rugby belter that sees Nelson Mandela (Freeman) use the 1995 Rugby World Cup as a platform to put himself and South Africa back on the global map. And that’s just the trailer!  

Best Quote: "I must admit I didn't think much of Andy the first time I laid eyes on him" (possibly).   

Most random moment: Freeman’s teeth at 2:16. They are so big they are in danger of winning best supporting actor. 

Chasing Great: The Richie McCaw Film (2016)

Running Time: 2:08

Starring: Richie McCaw, The All Blacks, a herd of cows, most of New Zealand. 

The Trailer: As the captain of a World Cup-winning team, Richie McCaw is one of the greatest All Blacks of all time. And if you like looking at Richie on planes, in fields, on a roof, in a restaurant, in a glider, in an empty office, on a sofa, on a rugby pitch, on the lounge floor, basically everywhere in New Zealand, then this is the trailer for you. 

Best Quote: “The Untold Story” (1:43). Get a grip, this is the most overtold story of all time. 

Most random moment: Richie stuffed into a glider at 1:41. Why in the name of God is Richie McCaw in a glider? 

This Sporting Life 

Running Time: 2:28 

Starring: Richard Harris, Rachel Roberts 

The Trailer: The blurb says that Rugby League player, Frank Mitchin, finds success on the pitch but struggles with love in the Yorkshire mining town of Wakefield. But in truth, you could watch this a hundred times and never fathom what’s going on. Harris has an arm-wrestle, attends a dance, punches a man in the face, kisses someone, swings a child around and spends the rest of the time bellowing “I want you!” at a baffled lady dressed in black. 

Best Quote: "This Sporting Life brings you face-to-face with people!”

Most random moment: You are going to spend the entire 2:28 minutes wondering whether the narrator is Richard Burton or not.

Sporting Calendar