How Steve Smith In Pants Can Help Save The Planet

Researchers discover why cricketers should wear shorts
16:23, 13 Sep 2019

A new report has called for cricketers to ditch the age-old tradition of wearing white trousers in favour of shorts, saying it would help in the battle against climate change.

Professor Mike Tipto, of the Extreme Environments Laboratory at the University of Portsmouth, told The Independent: “What we’re trying to do with all of this is raise climate change in people’s minds, so they realise this is an extinction-level problem. Anything that will reduce the thermal burden on, in particular, batsmen bowlers, wicket-keepers, is likely to help them maintain their performance.”

We’re all for helping in the fight against climate change here at The Sportsman, and we’ve taken a tongue-in-cheek look at how some of the greatest cricketers would look in shorts...

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KP may have been England’s talisman but he’s also got himself into a hell of a lot of trouble over his distinguished career. From sending texts to the opposition team slating his own captain, to arguments with England coach Peter Moores, he’s often found himself on the naughty step. Which means there’s only one pair of shorts for him. Schoolboy stuff.

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One of England’s star men this summer, Joffra Archer has burst onto the international scene and left quite the impression. The 24-year-old, who stood up and bowled that crucial Super Over in the Cricket World Cup final, has also impressed during the Ashes with some crucial wickets. Bowling at over 96mph on occasion during the series, there was only ever going to be one pair of shorts for England’s newest star. Rapid.


England’s saviour. A shoo-in for BBC Sports Personality of the Year after his heroic performances with the bat, Ben Stokes has turned up when his country needed him this summer. In the World Cup final, he hit an unbeaten 84 before batting in the Super Over and being part of that incredible World Cup-winning side. He then arguably went one better in the Third Ashes Test, when against all odds, he hit 135 n.o alongside Jack Leach as England snatched victory. England’s GOAT.

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Ok so they’re not strictly shorts, more Kylie hotpants. But we simply couldn’t help ourselves. Steve Smith has been a pain in the proverbial all summer and this is our revenge. Bet he could still make a good innings dressed like this though - he’s many things, but pants is not one of them.